A drunk fella goes in to the confessional, and after a while the priest doesn’t hear anything, so he knocks on the confessional.
The drunk says forget it buddy there’s no paper in this one either.................
Pat and Bill were in a lifeboat for a few days and finally they saw a bottle floating by.
Pat grabbed it and rubbed the dirt off of the label to see what it said. Poof!
A genie jumps out and says "I'm busy so only one wish this time."
Right away Pat says “ Turn ocean into Budweiser”. Poof It’s done!
Bill says .. You big dummy!!! Now we have to pee in the boat! .................
An obviously drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink.
Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest looking one in the face and says, "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway butt naked.
Man, she is a fine looking woman!" The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused because he is a bad ass, and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your grandma, and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get really pissed, but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!"
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders and says, Damn it, grandpa, you're drunk....... Go home!" ..............